I shared the story about
Angel Mama for a reason. That story played an integral part in our adoption journey. It's all about the timing ...
When Randy and I were just getting starting on the kid part of our family twelve years or so ago, we were living in Denton (that's very near heaven, fyi, in Texas). Most days, Madison and I would watch Martha Stewart. Before you ridicule, please remember that this was back when her show was actually worth watching. Ya know ... before she spent time in the slammer for a crime that she may or may not have committed. She was stuffy and aloof and full of her helpful decorating and homemaking tips. And I liked it. A lot. "It's a good thing." Remember that?? ::sigh::
Moving on ... after Martha, the news at noon came on. Since Madison was still a little thing, there was no reason to turn off the tv to avoid polluting her tiny brain with the cares of the real world. Besides, she was busy with yogurt and bananas and fish sticks and whatever else I could find that was safe enough to feed a toddler at lunchtime. So we did lunch, and she went off to naptime, and I would sit and watch the weather at the end of the newscast. Do you remember that, too? When we had to wait until the next news broadcast to see the weather? It always frustrated me so bad!! I would start off paying attention to the news, then get sidetracked during a commercial or some boring story about the economy (maybe I should have payed attention to those ... hmmm ... too late now). Anyway, so I would get sidetracked and totally miss the weather, which meant I would totally have to wait until the next newscast because this was waaay back before Al Gore invented the internet, or at least before it became a big thing. Jim Cantore was only popular on cable. But that was years ago. Randy seems to think that the internet, much like that rock and/or roll, is here to stay. I think he might be right.
* Rabbit trail * Also around this time, we went on a little weekend getaway with our dear friends to her hometown, Seguin, TX. That's pronounced 'sa-geen' for all you non-native Texans. It's also very near Gruene, TX, which is pronounced 'green.' We stayed with her Mama in an awesome, old house right in the middle of Seguin. Her Mama had a computer, and I remember her making the comment that she thought the mouse was a fad and wouldn't last long. A decade or so later, she's almost right!! Those darned mice have just about been replaced with touch pads and touch screens.
But back to the story. Noon news. Ok. At the end of the broadcast on Wednesdays, they did a human interest story called "
Wednesday's Child." They featured kids living in foster care who were eligible for adoption. They would take the kids somewhere fun, interview each one a little, and tell a bit of their stories. I have to tell you, those stories broke my heart. To see these precious children standing there saying, "I want a Mama and a Daddy," would do me in every time.
I want a Mama and a Daddy.
That's it. Not a pony or a car or a house made of Skittles and Pez. A Mama and a Daddy. Someone to call their own. The same bed to come home to every night. The same prayers to say before dinner every night. The same fluffy white towels each night after bath time. Somewhere they could let it all hang out without the fear of being passed along to the next foster home. Permanence. Stability. Love. Belonging. Support. To know that after they turned 18, there would be a place to come back to. Home. A permanent tether.
Ya know how it feels when your Mama tells you she loves you before you hang up the phone? You know she says it because she means it, but she kinda has to mean it because she's your Mama and like it or not, you're her kid and Mamas have to love their kid because that's just how it works? That. That's what they were asking for. "I want a Mama and a Daddy." Someone to mean it because they have to mean it. Someone who would willingly commit to having to mean it.
Almost without fail, the kids featured on Wednesday's Child were school-age siblings. One of the recurring fears mentioned was that the kids didn't want to be split up. They wanted to be adopted together. But that can get a little tricky. Get much past 2 or 3 years old, and your chances of being adopted out of the foster care system are greatly diminished. It gets still worse if you are not white, happen to be a boy, or are part of a sibling group. And something inside me couldn't let me let go of those stories. I believe that the Holy Spirit was beginning to prepare my heart then for what He has called us to do now.
I finally dared to share with Randy that I might want to adopt ... someday. But not a baby. I like babies - I had four. But finding a home for a baby is fairly easy. I know lots of families whose arms are aching for a baby and are waiting for 'the call' right now. But not a lot of arms ache for toddlers. Or pre-schoolers. Or middle schoolers. And do not even begin to think that I am at all knocking infant adoption or those who desire that. I've prayed for more than a few homes to be blessed with little bundles. I've cried with Mamas during their excruciating wait. I've rejoiced when those babies were welcomed home. If your desire is for a baby, do it!! Go for it!! I will gladly cry and rejoice with you, too!! But again, not a lot of arms are aching for older children - or for siblings. But mine do. And when I shared my heart with Randy, he just looked at me and said, "That's cool. I'd like to do that someday, too."
But not now.
"Someday ... not now" was our mantra for the next ten years or so. And it still might be today if we had not gotten involved with Angel. Once we knew that Baby was going to live somewhere else, and most likely never with us, we began to talk more about adoption. Not now? When? Soon? How soon? I think our encounter with Angel brought the idea of adoption out of the hypothetical and into our daily reality. And God began to work ...
So there you go. It's all Martha's fault. Adoption ... it's a good thing!!
